This Stuff aint Coffee!!! (rant for the day)

It sits on my tongue with a bitterness long after the liquid has made its way down my throat and landed in my stomach with a thud.  It smells like something thats been left out for a few days and grown cold.  And yet they call it coffee. 

I don’t understand how they can call the stuff they give us at work coffee.  It’s only redeeming quality is the caffeine it posses.  Even with a landslide of sugar and more little creamers than I can hold in one hand – the bitterness remains like a bad breakup. 

Coffee should entice you with its aroma, a rich nutty caffeine laden smell that makes you long for the first sip.  The first sip should wash over you mouth, hitting every part of your senses.  Warm and uplifting. 

Coffee is part of the  ritual of my morning.  I start the ritual with the coffee grinder  and as the blades cut through the recently roasted beans the aroma hits the air as rich oils hidden deep inside are released.  I carefully heat the water to that perfect temperature and then pour it over the rich dark pulverisation.  Again a scent is released and I inhale deeply.   Waiting for the coffee to steep is five minutes of exquisite agony as more of the oils escape the french press to tease me in the air.  Finally the wonderful brew is done and I pour it into the perfect coffee cup.  I inhale deeply as I take that first sip and feel warmth spread through my body.  That is coffee.

The sludge at work, with its beans roasted and ground weeks, or more likely, months in advance does not deserve to share its name with coffee.  And if I wasn’t so addicted to caffeine, you wouldn’t catch me dead with a paper cup in my hand drinking that stuff.  I am contemplating re-labeling all the pots and makers “SLUDGE POT” and “SLUDGE maker”.   

The sad thing is, some people can’t tell the difference.   I am going to go try to get this taste out of my mouth now. 

Anyone have any mouthwash cause the four sticks of gum I just popped in my mouth aren’t helping?


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